It was an exciting day in our house many years ago. My oldest daughter who was 6 or 7 at the time had submitted a picture that she had drawn and colored all by herself for the local newspaper weather forecaster. It surprised and delighted her when we discovered that it had been published right on the front page of the Sunday Journal!
Buckets full of praise and encouragement was sent her way that day. I couldn’t find it but I know that I still have that old newspaper clipping saved somewhere in my house because that moment meant something for my daughter and would be an important memory. It was an I can do it moment!
From years of classroom teaching and my own childrearing experiences I know that children benefit from positive reinforcement or more simply put, PRAISE. When they consistently hear those words slowly but surely they become more capable and confident in their own abilities. It’s nurturing food for a child’s brain. As they experience “I can do it moments” hopefully they will begin to believe that Yes, I can learn to do many more things in life.
You have already heard this many times but it is so important. The messages that we send to our kids can be powerful. You always want your child’s bucket or glass to be half full not empty. It’s about promoting self-esteem and ambition in our sons or daughters. So they will have the gumption to try new things or have the willingness and patience to preserver throughout life. Sometimes chasing their dreams but more likely having the patience to just hang in there and try to do their best in whatever life has in store for them.
Praise effort along with success. That is what will promote resiliency. A parent’s big challenge is to nurture their child’s self-esteem as they grow and develop skills. Life isn’t always going to be kind or fair. This is so vital for good mental health. The key word is good. Good job, good effort, good ideas, good choices. A child should never have to be exceptional to gain your praise and recognition. Excellence and success everyday and in everything that we do is not a realistic expectations. The important thing is trying and learning and being happy and proud of ourselves and our accomplishments.
My daughter has since had many more I can do it moments and successes in her lifetime of experiences and accomplishments. Her creative and artistic skills continued to be fostered along with the many other roots of her mind, body and soul. Today she is a doctor and a mother herself. We have no way of knowing what will be instore for our most precious cargo in the future. Parents need to provide their sons and daughters with as many tools and words of praise as we can to prepare them for future pathways in life.
Years later now my three year old granddaughter likes to draw and color pictures for me. Yes, Grandma joins in with the smiles, praise and the celebration of her milestones and the many things that she can do. Ideally she too will become a confident and strong women one day that will have had lots of I can do it moments.
Karen Boschee
Mom, Grandparent, & Retired Teacher
