Reminisce and Reflect with me.

Special Note:  My blog is often retro in nature and the idea for this posting came before the current social distancing and self-isolating global battle with COVID19.  Oddly it is now timelier and a stark reminder of how dependent we all are on our technology and social media in 2020.  With a computer in the house and our cell phones we are all staying much more connected than prior generations would have been able to do during this time of crisis.  That is a very comforting thing!

The 90’s is when I took my journaling habit to our home computer.  The robust word processing allowed for more elaboration and speed.  The file storage capabilities were a novel new bonus feature.  That journal has become the source of many of my reflections for this blog.  

I had some exposure to computers as a teacher at that time it was limited with only some schools exploring the luxury of having a computer lab.  In the early to mid-90’s relatively few homes had computers.

In our house two adults and three children shared that standard shade of gray big box monitor with the floor tower, floppy disc drawers, mesmerizing screensavers, detached mega keyboard and of course the sizable hand mouse and mouse pad.  That would seem totally unreasonable in today’s standards of efficiency, but we were happy campers having that new expensive toy with its multiple functions.

The economy was doing better in the 90’s.  A welcome oasis from what had been and what was unfortunately still to come.  People were spending more money and the interest in upgrading computer technology at work and at home was exploding.  The computer world in that decade was dominated by access to the worldwide web via the internet and Microsoft Windows revolutionary software.

Remember the sound of the dial up internet loading and connecting.  Netscape Navigator was likely your default browser and lining up to buy the latest version of Windows was like Boxing Day.  Think about all we take for granted now and how far the tech world has taken off and become an integral part of our lives.

Back in those early days computer favorites like Solitaire, Minesweeper and SimCity were played by the hours.  Our oldest remembers printing out carefully designed bookmarks and other treasures and playing Ski Free and the Beauty and the Beast game.  I just had a flashback to long printed banners I was able to make for my classroom. 

K-i-n-d-e-r-g-a-r-t-e-n in big black letters slowly crept through the printer on at least ten interconnected pages with holes on the sides that you had to carefully detach.  That was cool in those days!  The youngest loved all the Barbie computer games and the kid’s version of SimCity.  My middle daughter enjoyed Frogger and Pajama Sam.  She was also a fan of the Sims.  Santa Claus even became computer literate in the 90’s at our house leaving a delightful Christmas Eve message for our young daughters on the monitor screen.

I recently read an article written around Y2K that asked the question “Do home computers bring families together or isolate family members?”  The potential effects and uses of computers within the household were then explored.  It was interesting to reflect on the perceptions and predictions researchers made back then about the role computers would play in our future lives and then compare it with how technology has become a fundamental  part of homes today.

Computers were given a passing grade by considering the convenient and relatively inexpensive email communication and internet options, the wide variety of information sources available, the software programs to support learning and household management now on the market, combined with the new phenomenon of working at home aided by online technology.  Needless to say the depth and breadth of all the home computer  recreation, entertainment and games that children and adults were becoming more fascinated with and addicted to was growing exponentially. 

Confirming my own hindsight accolades for having a computer in the house when my children were growing up.  They do help family members learn, stay connected, manage their home and work lives and have fun too!

 

 

Becoming computer literate meant learning new skills and exploring new frontiers.  We all spent countless hours in front of that glowing screen reading, writing, surfing the net and playing games.  It was the 90’s and I think that our computer promoted and enhanced our children’s learning by getting them to use more literacy, numeracy, creativity, critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

 

At that time, we had no idea where all this computer technology would lead us to decades down the road.  It was the beginning of a whole new era of higher efficiency and expectations along with greater workloads and more stress.  The never really being unplugged times have now been with us for years.

“Do home computers bring families together or isolate family members?”  I think we have long since known the answer to that question.  They can do both depending on how they are used but that’s alright because technology has become so multifaceted and meshed into society.  The pluses far outnumber the minuses.  There is no turning back now nearly all children grow up with it, learn with it and embrace it.

As I sit quietly at home writing this blog on my much smaller and more portable personalized red laptop during this unprecedented COVID19 crisis I am indeed grateful for the advanced technology and social media we have in 2020. 

With a computer in the house I am feeling more informed about local and global news and events.  I am able to continue to manage most of my personal, household and business affairs.  I am still feeling connected to my family and friends, my church and work colleagues and with my blog readers.  That is a very comforting feeling.

 

Thank you for joining me.

Karen Boschee

Websites on this topic:  https://family.jrank.org/pagws/301/Computers-Family.html

https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/2014150-it-nostalgia-you-know-you-loved-computers-in-the-1990s-if

http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/90scomputers.html

https://www.statistics/184685/percentage-of-households-with-computer-in-the-united-states-since-1984/

 

 

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

Enjoying the winter wonderland around us we were on our way to the neighborhood tobogganing hill.  It’s nineteen-ninety something and the sledding was fun.  The hill was fast and full of snow suited youngsters with crazy carpets and saucers in tow.

Older kids had built a huge bump of snow into the slope to give it that extra blast of excitement.  Being a conscientious parent I spent the whole time worrying and carefully steering my girls around the hazard.  Everything was going great until the final ride of the day for my two oldest daughters.  At the last second, they caught the edge of the hill and veered right over that big bump!

I saw it happening and was helpless to intervene.  My heart sank as I heard the screams of anticipation and then sheer joy.  It was quite a thrill and an enormous spill.  Fortunately children bounce quite  well and everyone was fine.  Unexpected moments and experiences can sneak up on you.  Some are destined to become iconic childhood memories.  It couldn’t possibly have been planned or prevented but taking flight momentarily while sliding down that hill and landing flat on their backs and behinds was the most exciting part of the whole day for my kids.

A few weeks later I was driving home from a long day of teaching after picking up my girls from school and daycare.  We were in the midst of a bad winter storm.  It was going to be a challenging drive and I was suffering from a severe migraine headache.  Traffic was slow and the roads were slick.  Being sick is difficult for any working parent but this was truly memorable.

 

 

We needed to get home.  Struggling to keep going I finally had to pull over and only temporarily incapacitated threw up into the only thing I could grab, my favorite bright yellow woolen winter toque!  It wasn’t planned and it couldn’t be prevented but mom getting sick in her hat was the most dramatic event of that whole day for my kids.  

The snow kept falling.  Back in control and parental role we continued driving and eventually managed to get home.  My girls did their best to take care of me.  My youngest called it doctoring Mom.  If I were to show up today wearing a yellow toque I guarantee that my adult daughters would chuckle and then we would reminisce about that intense journey home in the car all those years ago.

You don’t have to be the perfect parent all the time and you won’t be the perfect parent everyday.  Imperfections help build character.  Challenges make us all stronger.  There will always be things that you can’t stop, can’t control and can’t change in your children’s lives.  Being there for your loved ones when they need you is what’s important.

Much older me is telling younger me that the precautions taken, the meticulous plans made and the hoops jumped through to make family life run smoothly may not always be remembered and appreciated.  But, people will remember many of those random shared spontaneous moments.

The old saying “Don’t sweat the small stuff” comes to mind.  Let it snow and chill out!  Look on the bright side. Snow always makes things whiter and lighter giving us a clean slate.  But snow does not last forever.  So rekindle those good memories.  Focus on what makes you feel good and go out and have some fun.

I recently did that exact thing.  I have always loved snow and winter.  When I was young I did a lot of ice skating with family and friends.  My own childhood memories take me back to skating with my dad on cold winter weekends. 

Haven’t done this since the 90’s with my own kids.  It’s twenty-twenty and last weekend I decided to enjoy the winter wonderland around me and I went skating again!

 

Thank you for joining me.

Karen   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m still embarrassed to admit and angry with myself for missing the signs that my daughter had vision issues until she was in grade 4!  She was always good natured, capable, never complained and managed to adapt and cope until finally school issues began to emerge.  Don’t worry she’s fine that was nearly 25 years ago!

While attending another ophthalmologist appointment with her recently it got me thinking, if parents and teachers could miss a child having difficulty seeing in class, it’s  not surprising that emerging emotional problems in children may not be recognized and given attention to in a timely and effective way.  These issues can ebb and flow or may sometimes be hidden completely from view, like a new moon gone temporarily from the night sky.

Not all children come out of their childhood feeling fine and will navigate through adulthood, like the moon returning and repeating its journey over and over again, with mental illness.

Parents with the best intentions and parenting skills can miss or misinterpret things.  We are only human and can quickly slip into our busy routines and not notice the subtle changes in a son or daughter, like the waxing and waning of the moon above our heads. 

Don’t ignore the signs!  If you observe changes in patterns of behavior and sense that there may be an issue you need to become an advocate for your child.  Is their energy and enthusiasm for school and other social activities dwindling?  Has there been a change in school achievement?  Are they moodier and less motivated?

Does their self-esteem seem to be shrinking away?  Do they look physically or emotionally drained?  Are these emerging new behaviors giving you reason for concerns?

Dig deep to find the root of the problem and seek out appropriate help.  Mental illness can become a special need as real and important as any cognitive or physiological condition or disorder.  When children struggle with their thoughts and emotions and are no longer thriving it may be a symptom of anxiety or depression.  Imagine going to school day after day with all the inherent challenges found there and feeling this way!  Children suffering from mental health issues or illness are like a waning moon.  Gradually over time their strength, spirit and intensity decreases and their enthusiasm for everything in life begins to decline.

Now a retired teacher I tutor children who are having difficulty learning to read and write.  It has been my observation, almost without exception, that my student’s learning problems are just the tip of the iceberg when trying to meet their individual special needs.  School anxiety has become a real problem for many children.

During a reading assessment that I observed a twelve year old boy teared up as he struggled to decode words while desperately trying to maintain his composure as the building anxiety, embarrassment and anger caused by his failure to read created an emotional melt down within.  It was heartbreaking to watch.  How can his reading disorder not be affecting his overall well-being?

A colleague recently asked me to describe another student of mine.  His parents had shared with us that they were not only concerned about their son’s academic progress but also his overall well-being at school.  There had been a change in his behavior since the beginning of a new school year.  He was less motivated, more introverted and his grades had gone down.

Having worked already for over a year with this young boy developing a good rapport, building up his self-esteem, and improving his literacy skills by a full grade level, I told my colleague that this boy was feeling diminished at school.   She thought that was an excellent way to describe a child with learning and mental health issues.  Imagine going someplace day after day struggling with your own thoughts and feelings!  School was becoming hard again for this child.

Most educators know that creating a positive learning environment with early identification and remediation for individual special needs is critical for optimal learning.  I’ve been there and I know that this is a huge challenge in today’s large inclusive classrooms.  Sadly, some children struggle or fall through the cracks with immense and lasting consequences.

Promoting good mental health and supporting a child with mental health challenges should always start at home.  Before thoughts and feelings become overwhelming for your son or daughter here are some things that you can do.

LEARN MORE.  Mental health literacy and awareness has become much more recognized and accepted.  You can access information and seek guidance on how to help your child.  Learn more about the impact of mental health issues.

UNDERSTAND MORE.  Parents need to know what the risk factors are for mental illness so that they will be better able to recognize the warning signs and take action.

STAY CONNECTED with your children.  Initiate conversations and keep the lines of communication open.

Become an untiring ADVOCATE for your child.  Early diagnosis and intervention are very important.  Parents play a crucial role because professionals rely on their observations and insights when identifying disorders and recommending treatment plans.

TEACH your child how to identify what they are feeling and how to manage their emotions.  This will help improve their self-control and coping skills so they can think and behave more appropriately in situations. 

LISTEN and GIVE SUPPORT.  Make sure they understand that everyone can struggle with their feelings and sometimes they will need help from trusted and caring people around them.

POSITIVE THINKING is like a super power.  It is so important for our mental well-being.  Encourage the glass is always half full thinking and looking on the bright side within your family.

RESILIENT children given consistent love, nurturing and guidance can learn to cope, adjust and recover better when they are challenged.  Try to teach problem solving skills and let your children experience the impact and consequences of both positive and negative life events and circumstances.

SHOW your children the benefits and importance of self-care and mindfulness.  It is essential for good mental health.  Learning to take care of ourselves and managing stress is a vital life skill and should start at a young age.  Good nutrition, adequate sleep and exercise are obvious ways that we stay healthy and should be modeled and promoted at home.

FIND and use the resources, programming and accommodations that are appropriate for your son or daughter if learning problems are contributing to mental health issues.

Thriving children are enjoying life and feeling good about themselves.  If your child is feeling diminished like a waning moon, struggling with their thoughts and emotions, or displaying concerning changes in behavior you need to seek out appropriate help.

Don’t miss the signs!  School anxiety is a real problem for many children.  Mental illness can become a significant issue that will impact them for a lifetime.

But, with compassion and support children can begin to feel less diminished and learn to better manage their emotions.  Gradually they can grow stronger in spirit and once again full of enthusiasm for life. 

 

Thank you for joining me.

Karen

 

  

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

January nineteen-ninety something, when cursive writing was still a coveted rite of passage in school, my daughter lost her first tooth and wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy.  I thought it just fell out all by itself!  My own journal entry substantiated the exciting event.  We have a fascination with significant occurrences in our lives. 

We like to share common passages of time and life events.  It makes us feel normal and human.  Little does she know that there will be so many more milestones ahead.  Important events and achievements.  Memorable highlights,  monumental tasks and defining moments.

A chapter in her life will end and a new door will open.  There will be critical junctures made by unforeseen circumstances when decisions will need to be made.  She will arrive at different crossroads and turning points as she navigates through life.

It is important to recognize all the good and bad firsts in life but learn from them too.  First day of school, riding a bike without training wheels, a first place finish or win, a first date, first love, first heartbreak, driving solo for the first time, graduating, voting for the first time, getting that first job, the adventures and trips, first time living away from home, first failure, conflict or great loss.  The list will be long. 

Feel proud and excited or humbled and appreciative.  Not every day will be special. Few will be consequential.  In the moment be conscious and discerning because your reality and perspectives will change with age.

Welcome your accomplishments and independence.  Savor the moments because too soon many of them will become commonplace.  Document things when you can for future reference and pleasure.  Firsts often lead to self-discovery and greater maturity.

Celebrate when life is good.  Learn when life is challenging.  Another New Year has now come and gone.  We are now in the first days of a new decade.  What other firsts will this year bring?

I found my daughter’s “tooth” letter years later and had to chuckle and admire the honesty and innocence that was being communicated, in awesome cursive writing!  She was experiencing the feelings of amazement caused by something remarkable and unfamiliar.  Yet she was already showing gumption and assertiveness pulling her own tooth out and negotiating with the Tooth Fairy!

Little did she know that the first day with braces would be in her future and that the Tooth Fairy would always be generous but fair.  The wonders of childhood do not last forever but that day in January was special for my little girl.

Thank you for joining me.

Karen

 

 

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

When you are searching for that perfect gift consider for a moment the gift of time. Building a snowman on a winter day in nineteen-ninety something was enough.  A quote from a book that I recently reread stuck a chord and reminded me of the importance of taking the time to live more in the present appreciating the people, places and things around me.   

Adults tend to get absorbed in their to do lists and forget to stop and smell the coffee so to speak.  If you watch children, you will see that they are naturally so much better at seeing and enjoying the good things that are going on around them.  Until they are taught what is expected or accepted, they simply live in the moment.

 For parents joy that is shared and brings us together can be that perfect gift.  This gift is about more that just practicing mindfulness to achieve greater happiness because “every time we are not fully engaged in the moment is time lost forever!

I would like to share a treasured quote that used to hang in a prominent place in my kitchen.  Somehow over the years its prominence diminished, its importance was ignored and eventually covered up and forgotten completely!  Then many years later I found it behind the calendar usually filled with a busy family’s agenda of events and activities.

It says,  “THE POINT IS NOT TO DO REMARKABLE THINGS, BUT TO DO ORDINARY THINGS WITH THE CONVICTION OF THEIR IMMENSE IMPORTANCE.” Worthwhile words of wisdom at any age!

As I prepare my traditional yearly family photo display that hangs on the fridge and file pictures away into “old school” albums, I quietly enjoy remembering the special memories captured in those images.

I know the idea of finding joy and living more in the present is not a new one.  But it is something that resonates in my mind and heart more frequently now.  There must be some truth in the saying that wisdom comes with age because in our younger, busier lives this advice was often ignored and rarely taken.

Retirement has given me the gift of time and more sleep!  I am feeling more joyful and  physically, mentally and spiritually restored.  Proof of how much more balance and perspective I might have gained sooner in life if I had just slowed down and enjoyed a few more precious moments.

I must admit sometimes when I look back over old photos and think about past family events my memories are not always as clear as I thought they would be.  Maybe I should not have been so busy,  participated more actively, recorded things more vividly in my brain and written more things down to remember.  I often forgot to stop and smell the coffee!

Consider what are the memories that you want your children to carry with them in future years.  Perhaps the perfect gift is to take more time to do ordinary things together.  It is important to recognize that appreciating many of the quiet endearing moments in life, like being there when your child is building a snowman on a winter day, do make you feel more joyful, content and successful as a parent and will create lasting memories.

Thank you for joining me!

Karen

 

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

The season of joy is coming.  It’s nineteen ninety-something.  My first baby girl is growing up so fast.  My first baby boy is growing old too soon!  Both continue to bring me joy each day.  Dogs have always made me feel happy.

Like many young couples our first parenting experiences were with pets.  Two lovable big dogs.  We enrolled in NURTURING 2.0!  I had grown up in a home where pets were always part of the family.   I followed in my father’s footsteps feeding, walking, training, grooming, playing with, talking to and most importantly loving my pets.   

As our family grew this 14 year old boy was still patient, loving and devoted to his pack.

I know that some circumstances or conditions might make it impossible for families to have pets but a home with animals is a great place for kids to grow up in. That’s the kind of environment I hoped to provide for my children. 

Hindsight shows me that I was doing so much more than I realized for my kids at the time.  Research supports the belief that pets are good for child development and mental health.  The companionship and unconditional love are a given but there is more!

Pets help reduce stress.  Kids who get emotional support from animals may be less anxious and withdrawn.  The non-judgmental nature of an animal can help improve a child’s self-esteem.  Kids tend to be more confident doing things with an animal because they aren’t afraid of making mistakes or looking silly.  A pet will still love you even if you aren’t the best reader, have difficulty communicating or are very shy.

Children learn best when they are encouraged to do things.  Helping to take care of a pet teaches nurturing skills, responsibility and encourages empathy towards other living things.  Having routines within the home is a positive thing for kids.  It also gives them real experiences with the inevitable circle of life concepts that they will face in the future.  Having a pet is an excellent learning opportunity for children. 

Kids enjoy talking and playing with their pets.  This gives them practice communicating and socializing. It also promotes physical activity and good health.  

In our home dogs have often made us smile and laugh when we spend time together.  They have been a source of happiness that has built strong family bonds and created special shared memories.

Children remember their pets.  One of the best childhood memories for all my kids was that spring day in nineteen ninety-something, when we got our new puppy.

Pets help keep us mentally and physically healthy.  We have continued to have pets.  Three more dogs have shared our home and joined our pack.  My adult children are still animal lovers.  Once they established homes for themselves, they have also welcomed pets into their lives.

Just like my dad before me I have maintained my nurturing ways. My kids no longer share our home but they will forever have my heart and bring me joy.  Now an empty-nester my dogs are great company and they keep me active. I can’t take credit for the sayings that have adorned my house over the years but the messages sure ring true.  Dogs still make me happy. When it comes to my mental health sometimes “Dogs do make the best therapists!”  It feels good to be loved unconditionally.

Thank you for joining me!

Karen

If you want to read more on this topic here are some websites for you to visit.

https://www.parents.com/parenting/pets/kids/the-benefits-of-pets/

Pet Ownership Positively Affects Your Kids in More Ways Than One

Children who grow up with pets make more sensitive and sympathetic adults

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-benefits-of-children-growing-up-with-pets

 

 

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

An autumn afternoon stroll with the kids. It’s nineteen ninety-something when scarecrows were built and not bought at the craft store.  Before the return of pumpkin spice lattes excited us.  It was easy then to fall in love with autumn by just appreciating mother nature’s spectacle. 

The glorious trees, colorful falling leaves crunching under foot and sunflowers standing tall for their final salute.  A harvest full moon, the sounds of geese flocking up in the sky and pumpkins here, there and everywhere. 

That not too hot, not too cold, festive time of year.  In our family fall meant birthdays, an anniversary and other celebrations, new beginnings and returning to familiar routines at school and various other activities.

Memories evoke emotions.  These photographs make me feel happy. The iconic old song says it well “Memories light the corners of my mind.  Misty water-colored memories of the way we were.” “Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were.” 

Reminiscing is good for our mental health.  It helps make life more meaningful. It resets our perspective on the present and helps us feel more positive about the future. Nostalgia is good for you.  That is a big reason why I write this blog.

The seasons are always with us, always changing and always returning.  Kind of like our lives! Their cycle can be comforting.  I still love Fall.  It has always been my anchor time of year.  A time for reflection, contentment and thankfulness. 

Magical mother nature and her changing seasons still has the power to WOW me!  I hope that I have passed that source of happiness and joy and an appreciation for life on to my children. 

That’s AUTUMN BLISS! 

 

Thank you for joining me!

Karen

“The Way We Were”  (1974) written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman and Marvin Hamlisch

 

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

September nineteen ninety-something and the excitement of starting a school year trumps anything this month! 

Shopping for school supplies and picking out what to wear.  The new teachers and classmates.  Getting ready for the “first day of school” photo is a must.  Documenting the occasion and making memories.

Learning your ABC’s and 123’s is crucial for survival in this literate and calculating world we live in!  School is cool in our family!

One daughter recently discussed her feelings about starting Kindergarten with Mom and Dad as the time grew nearer.  She is a little nervous and apprehensive yet excited too.  She said that “she hoped that her teacher wouldn’t get mad if she couldn’t do everything right at school.“

I tried to assure her that as long as she was doing her best, Mom and Dad would be happy with her and the teacher should be too.  I emphasized that school is suppose to teach you how to do things and that she shouldn’t be worried!

That same daughter has also been proudly announcing to everyone that she is going to be in Mommy’s class.  Going to school with Mom is something unusual yet special that my kids are experiencing.  A popular saying “All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten” has immense meaning and importance now.  My job description, roles and responsibilities have morphed exponentially!

Adjusting to mom being their teacher has been different for each child.  One embraced the role of high achieving model student and rarely slipped out of character.

Another hung on to presumed special privileges, like wanting to sit on my lap during story-time or stripping down to her undershirt like she would at home to avoid getting hot during our Mousercizing exercise time!

The last one was friendly, funny, always content to play and learn despite the fact unbeknownst to teacher/mom that she really needed glasses to see!

Remembering that my children are individuals and have their own strengths and weaknesses has been so important.  Ensuring that my  students, including my own kids, always feel secure and confident to learn within my classroom is my goal.  As a parent and an educator it has always been my job to teach.  Those early years are very formative and impressionable times for children. 

I feel fortunate that I am able to interact and make connections with my girls in such a remarkable way.  When they grow up, hopefully my influence and teaching will continue to help them navigate through life.  “All you really need to know is not learned in Kindergarten.”  For most of us the learning never stops. 

Hindsight Reflection #1  Kids do worry about things from a young age and some never stop worrying.

Hindsight Reflection #2   How many children in classrooms have had those same thoughts and concerns about measuring up?  Self-doubt is always counterproductive.

Hindsight Reflection #3  All the educational experiences, they had along the way,  helped to shape the adults that they are today. 

Thank you for joining me!

Karen

If you want to read more quotes or essays by Robert Fulghum.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  Penquin Random House Canada. Copyright 1986.

 

 

 

It’s a BIG world out there!  Our kids must learn to navigate through it on their own.  

Unfortunately stories of misguided or victimized youth seem to abound in society.  Parents are asking themselves “What if my child does not make good decisions in life?”   I first posted on this topic one year ago after twelve Thai soccer teammates followed their coach deep into an unsafe cave.  The recent heartbreaking overdose bullying incident of a teen boy in BC, that was posted to social media sites, makes me very sad and has rekindled my concerns about the environment that children are growing up in today.

What makes some children and young adult become influenced and led astray?  When faced with uncertainty, peer pressure and perhaps a charming or fascinating leader, what will they do?  What causes them to make poor choices despite all the good nurturing and teaching they have received.

As children grow up and experience life most parents observe that a son or daughter has a tendency towards being a leader or a follower.  They can actually be a mixture of both and these traits are influenced by both genetics and the environment.  Experts advice parents to not be judgmental towards either personality style because we need both leaders and followers in our families, schools, workplaces and communities.

Good followers support and help a leader when he or she is doing the right thing and have the courage to stand up to that leader when they are headed in the wrong direction or doing something that is not right.  Sometimes it will take the confidence, courage and conviction, learned early in life from nurturing parents, for children and teens to be able to say  “No”!  Ironically, these are also essential qualities of good leadership.

 

Embracing the team ethic of working together is very important.  Yet, at the same time paying attention, assessing the situation, thinking for themselves and communicating when a poor choice is being made is necessary and shows emerging independent critical thinking skills.

So, what can parents do?

Consider your own leadership style within your family and around your home.  As a significant role model in children’s lives parents need to model both good leadership and follower behaviors.  An overly dominant parent is not fostering assertiveness in their son or daughter.  A family that encourages teamwork is teaching vital life skills.

Teach your children to be observant and aware. Provide them with a variety of experiences so that they can learn and grow.  Show them how decisions are made and then let them practice, practice, practice!  Knowledgeable children who have had exposure to life situations and opportunities to solve problems when they are young will grow up to be better critical thinkers. 

Encourage healthy exploration and risk taking that will develop independence and build self-esteem.  Practicing invaluable life skills will increase a child’s self-confidence and teach them about integrity, responsibility and trust.  Children need to believe in their own abilities, thoughts, feelings, and opinions so that they will not just follow what others say or do.

Enduring relationships are so important.  Be patient and positive.  Stay connected and keep communicating with your child.  Ask lots of questions that get kids thinking on their own and allow you to stay informed about their school and social life.  Trust your instincts.  If you sense that something is wrong act and advocate for your child’s physical and mental well-being.

By accumulating experiences that promote good health, strength, independence and self-esteem children can develop gradually by increments the ability to understand the consequences of their choices and behaviors.  So when they are faced with new situations, uncertainty or peer pressure parents can feel more confident that their son or daughter will make appropriate and safe decisions as they navigate through this BIG world we live in.

 

Thank you for joining me.

Karen

 

 

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

A quick READ.

Kids, water and summer equals fun!  Swimming lessons were a big success in nineteen-ninety-something.  You can lead a horse to water.  Fortunately, we did not have to make our kids go in!   Don’t go chasing Waterfalls by TLC was popular on the air waves.  We were racing off to waterparks, waterslides, and our favorite YMCA pool. 

Beanie Babies were the new craze that year, but our kids had their eyes set on climbing the swimming ladder of success via buoyant animals like otters, seals and dolphins.

Navigating countless crowded, steamy, slippery, chlorine infused  communal showers and change rooms was part of each child’s journey.

Trying to stay dry straddling benches and stuffing lockers while fully clothed was a challenge.  Carrying wet towels, multiple backpacks and belongings while trying not to think about the athlete’s foot fungus and pink eye germs below you was a parent’s nightmare. 

And then you sit and wait.  No scrolling through your phone!  What phone!  The World Wide Web has only just released browsers making the internet accessible at home on your computer if you have one.  Instead you read your paperback, babysit siblings, strike up a conversation with the parent next to you, or maybe just enjoy watching your little ones swimming, splashing and diving. Then like a machine your wash, rinse, dry and repeat cycle continues.

Despite the possible shame and disappointment of being stuck at dolphin and never making it to the Starfish levels.  I have signed the kids up for a second set of swimming  lessons this summer.

 

Following the enthusiasm currents and riding the waves of fun.  Your kids are being supervised by someone else for 45 minutes and learning a life skill at the same time.  Enjoy it while you can!

Hindsight Reflection #1    Isn’t it nice that some nurturing places like the Y still exist.  

Hindsight Reflection #2  There will be many more ladders of success for kids to climb.  And many more places for parents to become masters of waiting and watching. 

Hindsight Reflection #3  Life is going to be full of sink or swim moments.  I know that my kids learned how to stay afloat many years ago!

   

 

 

Thank you for joining me.

Karen