After several discarded attempts to post something relevant or appropriate over the past couple of months here I go again! Truth is I needed to take a pause. We are all charting new ground these days and the stress and fatigue of the past years events is getting taxing on us all. Quite frankly with Hindsight is Always 2020 being the title of my blog I came to the realization that with the unprecedented nature of this pandemic the likes of nothing I have yet seen in my lifetime I was at a loss for words of wisdom and good parenting advice.
A temporary rest in speech or action. A momentary hesitation because of doubt or uncertainty. A brief stop or delay before continuing on. All these definitions for the word “pause” are so appropriate when living with the consequences of Covid. Like many I have been prioritizing and considering what is really important in life. I have been looking back trying to use my background knowledge. I’m also asking myself what is to be learned from all of this?
A Christmas message in a card from one of my adult daughters sums it all up. 2020 sure has been a different year for everyone. Glad that you and dad have made it through and now we can hope for much better times in the coming year! I love you and still need your advice and support despite being a grown up now myself. You are always there for me and I hope you always know how grateful I am. You are loved and appreciated more than you’ll ever know.
If that doesn’t motivate me to continue to do everything that I can to stay safe and healthy this year I must be missing the point. Covid 19 has cast a shadow on our lives but whenever possible we have been encouraged to find the joy in our own family story. My thoughts finally started to take shape when I noticed two very old posters left up on a bulletin board in my empty nester spare room/ office. One was a Print Shop Delux creation of a favorite saying I had made years ago with my first color printer. The other was a good problem solving strategy acquired early in my teaching days that still applies to almost anything. This has certainly been the year of problems requiring a series of evolving solutions. Sounds a lot like life. Once again I am learning that the point is not to do remarkable things each day but to do ordinary things recognizing their immense importance. Just being there for your children during this pandemic needs to be every parent’s priority.
I am so thankful for my home and family this year. I have shelter from this storm and people that I love. Having strong family ties has helped us get through these tough times. Sharing experiences within my family bubble socially distanced or virtually has given me comfort, consistency and purpose knowing that I am not alone. Recognizing the things that I love in life and finding resourceful and safe ways to keep doing them has been a challenge. But, the joy received is a positively contagious thing for all of us to catch especially during these Covid times.
So how can we focus more on the ordinary things that are so important? Slow down life isn’t a race it will be more like a marathon. You need to pace yourself so you can protect your precious cargo and that includes yourself! Regardless of what stage in life you are at you can’t do everything so stop trying! That is certainly an understatement as we have been forced to navigate through 2020 trying to stay economically, socially and mentally afloat while remaining healthy and sane! Don’t lose your inner spirit and drive. Put things in perspective and prioritize based on the consequences of your actions. You can’t care for others if you don’t take care of yourself first. Eventually your gas tank runs dry. I have needed to remind myself often to slow down and think. We are in a marathon stretch right now. Conserving my mental energy has been imperative and is enabling me to persevere using common sense to change my habits and follow the required public health regulation with greater patience. You can’t be a super mom or dad everyday. Focus on the finish line and do the best you can.
Choices will need to be made. Do overs are rarely an option in life. There will be setbacks, regrets and hiccups along the way and everyone hits the wall occasionally along the journey and has to regroup. More than any other global event before in my lifetime this pandemic has triggered the reset button forcing us to make changes and learn new lessons. Routines and interactions have been curtailed and life has been turned upside down. Always use your past experiences to prepare and plan for challenges in life. That has helped me numerous times in the past. Learn to be resourceful and flexible so you can adapt more readily to imminent or unexpected changes.
Support your family unconditionally. Don’t underestimate the value of coming home to family. As you get older and witness or live through more of the bright and dark days that life can send your way you begin to gain a greater understanding of the frailty, the vulnerability and the precious nature of a life. As we race along further in life we start to consider the consequences of decisions we make or actions we take with a more fine toothed comb.
Counting your blessings and holding those dear to you close is always a good recommendation. It’s been hard to do that lately but try to cherish those monotonous, momentous and memorable things you can do especially this year because 2020 will become a “where were you 911 iconic and historic year that will be referenced to well beyond my lifetime. You never know what will be in store for you around the next corner. Covid has unfolded upon us like a giant shadow and put our lives at times into chaos and uncertainty.
What we will enjoy in the future is largely the result of whatever we put into it right now. It takes patience, commitment and time but consistent effort will reap most rewards. In time your children will grow into adults as mine have. Covid will no longer control our every move and rule our lives. Hopefully your family will have a flourishing relationship and friendship that continues to grow and gives you all strength and support for years to come. Despite my own parenting concerns and doubts my children grew up! Be proud of your accomplishments in life. Taking care of yourself will always help you be a better parent. Keep nurturing yourself and those you love. Together you will get through this.
There are restrictions and limitations. Cancelations and postponements have become the norm. Things are moving slower. There’s no place to rush to most days. We have all been forced into a reset mode. Be patient and take a pause. I will say it again because it is important to count your blessings and savor your good health. The pandemic is asking us to show that we have learned and that we can adapt during this intense juncture in the marathon. There will be times in life when being a team player is necessary whether we like it or not. This has been such a year. A collaborative effort is what will see us through this pandemic and so much more planning.
As I continue to shelter at home I am remembering that a life well lived is one where you stay true to your passions and what is important to you. I will keep doing those important ordinary things and continue to be there for my children. I know that I will need to take a pause some days but hopefully my wisdom and perseverance can lead by example doing what is right to protect my family, those around me and myself during this fight against Covid 19.
Thank you for joining me.
Karen Boschee
Retired Teacher and Parent of 3 Adult Children
