Too Many Eggs in Your Basket?

Maybe it’s the coming of spring with sparrows nesting outside my front door, something that hasn’t happened since my own children were young decades ago.  Or joining a choir and enjoying singing in my sixties, something I haven’t done since childhood.  It must be the wonderful anticipation of the birth of my first grandchild that has reminded me once again to count my blessings, slow down and savor those precious moments in life.

You know the familiar phrase “don’t put too many eggs in one basket.”  I’m a person who for most of my life overcompensated for all those potential negative scenarios by focusing and juggling too many eggs in multiple baskets.  Sometimes looking back with regrets, I realize that although I was always there for the important moments with my family, I wasn’t necessarily smelling the coffee. I ask myself now why did I settle for less than I deserved from those moments because my mind was just too busy?

I know what you’re thinking hindsight is a wonderful thing, but this is easier said than done. Don’t get me wrong I would never have ignored or rejected the needs and responsibilities I had in my family or work life to indulge myself flippantly.  But maybe I should have slowed down my own thought processes along the way.  Multiple eggs in too many baskets leads to racing thoughts and that is never a productive state of mind.

I will never cast a stone at the value of creative thinking and cognitive reasoning because it has served me well in life. But rambling thoughts can sabotage your own good intentions to cover all your bases.  By slowing down productivity they can hamper your concentration and engagement.  Random thought patterns can lead you astray, waste time and take you off your game. 

Even when I am writing my blog, I often allow myself to get interrupted or distracted by my stream of thoughts.  I know that I’m guilty of overthinking which can clutter my mind and that isn’t a productive state to be in. I risk losing my flow of ideas by doing too many things at once.  Needing to regroup I end up taking far longer to complete the original writing task I intended to accomplish which creates stress.

Over the years I have learned to live with these thought patterns of mine as a functioning adult and they have not limited or incapacitated me, but I have observed and grown more concerned about the negative effects and consequences racing thoughts can have on the developing minds of children.  Hindsight is telling me maybe that should have been on my radar more as a parent decades ago.

Today if I miss a Wordle challenge I will feel regret and disappointment, but I will get to try again the next day.  It doesn’t happen very often that I miss a word but, on those days, when I’ve been interrupted and juggling too many things my inner stress builds cluttering my mind and I inevitably miss a clue. The consequences are minimal, but life isn’t like that.  We don’t get many do overs and that is especially true for children as their formative years flash by so quickly. 

The truth is that some children wage a relentless battle against their own thoughts for many years discovered by parents only after significant collateral damage has occurred.  When your child’s own thinking patterns create more stress in their life it’s a sign that shouldn’t be ignored.  When racing thoughts, worries, or ideas become more repetitive or exaggerated and increase in frequency or intensity they can hamper normal daily functioning, hinder relationships or disrupt sleep. They can challenge a child’s mental health and well-being. 

Negative thoughts are normal but endless upsetting thoughts that won’t go away are not and they can create stress for a child. Once a behavior pattern sets in these kinds of thoughts can dominate a child’s brain making it more difficult for them to concentrate and accomplish things. Anxiety may be the root cause of your child’s irritability, exhaustion or restlessness.  Racing thoughts are a common symptom of anxiety and other mental health disorders.

It took a long time for one of my adult daughters to confide in me that she had always been fighting her own thought demons and that her mind had always thought differently.  I had noticed signs during childhood but didn’t always understand at the time what they meant. If mental health issues do start to emerge in a child, parents need to recognize the risk factors and take them seriously. The realization that mental health problems and disorders can manifest themselves in childhood has become far more acknowledged and accepted. It can be treated before it causes lifelong consequences. Early intervention is so important.  

The good news is that there are ways to cope with racing thoughts and associated mental health conditions.  With consistent management and care my daughter leads an active and full adult life.  She has crafted strategies into her daily routines that quiet those ever-present troublesome thoughts demons and calm her anxiety enabling her to function and keep on carrying on.  

Parents can start to help a child who is struggling with racing thoughts and feelings of anxiety by first acknowledging that their emotions are a real and vital part of their being.  Instructing our children about the importance of good mental health will encourage them to be more open about their own feelings and increase the chances that they will confide in you if they are having problems and do need help coping.  

Encouraging and modeling positive thinking is something that we all benefit from in our lives.  Positive thinking will help children to be more resilient.  Resilient children given time and nurturing can learn to cope, adjust and recover better from future life events or experiences.  Showing children the importance of self-care and mindfulness is essential for good mental health.  Learning to take care of ourselves when we are experiencing negative feelings and thoughts or managing stress is important and it should start at a young age so that it becomes a pattern of behavior throughout life. 

If you suspect something is amiss or your child is struggling in any way don’t ignore the signs!  Dig deep to find the root of the problem and then seek out appropriate help for your child. There could be a mental health issue.  Daily activities at home and school should not become hard because their thoughts or feelings are overwhelming them.  Thriving children are enjoying life and feeling confident about themselves. 

I am now making better choices for myself, counting my blessings, slowing down and savoring precious moments in life.  As I make my basket smaller and reduce the number of eggs within it perhaps, I can still lead by example as my adult children learn to juggle their own lives.  Life is a journey, and we can’t always control the pace and demands put upon us. It’s no wonder our thought processes can run away from us at times if we don’t recognize and rein them in.  Unfortunately, this is an even more confusing and difficult process for children to navigate and it can result in brewing internal anxiety.  Are there too many eggs in their basket or maybe they just need more help carrying them?

Thanks for joining me.

Karen Boschee

Retired Teacher/ Parent of 3 adult children

Additional reading suggestions:

5 Ways to Stop Your Racing Thoughts https://www.psychololgytoday.com/ca/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201604/5-ways-stop-your-racing-thoughts

How Can I Control Racing Thoughts And What Triggers Them? https://betterhilp.com/advice/bipolar/how-can-i-control-racing-thoughts-and-what-triggers-them/?

How to stop racing thoughts https://www.medicalnewstoday./com/articles/320658