Not surprisingly studies clearly show that meaningfully engaging in something that you are passionate about can have positive outcomes on your mental health and happiness. Unfortunately, however many people don’t know how to follow their passions. Researcher Jon Jachimowicz gives three reasons why this is a challenge. First, passion is not something one finds but rather something that needs to be developed. Secondly, it is hard to pursue your passions because they often diminish over time. The third surprising reason is that sometimes our passions have limits and can lead us off track.
We all know that you can’t live on happiness alone. Life soon shows us that you cannot get sidetracked from important goals, responsibilities and routine activities for too long. If passions need to be actively discovered over time, he suggests that we focus more on what we care about, not just what you like to do and what is fun. Pursuing your passions will be challenging and it will require perseverance. It may not be easy and will require great effort but passions within ourselves are resilient. They can wait and weather the many storms of a life lived.
I have learned over time that my true passions are things that I don’t have to do. I choose to do them because I want to without motive or obligation. For me it has been writing and artistic pursuits that I excelled at when I was young and in school and later in my teaching profession. I loved to mentor my young students giving them confidence to explore their own creative side especially through the visual arts.
When I was young and considering my pathway ahead for work and careers I had been tempted to and initially tried to follow an artistic avenue but soon realized that the pressure and stress ensued from having to create on demand took away from the pleasure that I thought I was getting from my passion. Along with the fear of not being able to make a living for myself. I did what many have done. I chose the safer, more traditional and dependable route, a profession which I flourished in until retirement.
I’m old enough now to understand that being passionate about your job or being a conscientious parent always had an element of service, stress and hard work that would eat away at the pleasure you gained. I have also long recognized that there have been things that I have done emulating the saying “it’s like riding a bike…. you never forget how” like reading, listening to music and riding my bike but they were not my true passions. They were easy automatic go to activities like comfort food telling me this will feel good.
Some passions require more effort and time. They are squashed away just itching to get out. Revisited at times reminding you of their importance and value but then missed bringing you disappointment when they become unsustainable. That was my experience during a large part of my adulthood occasionally grasping at opportunities to draw or write while being consumed in family life and workloads leaving me frustrated with my inability to create at a level that I would be happy with.
Instead, more time and effort went into exposing my daughters to a variety of experiences and encouraging them to chase those young dreams that might turn into passions later in life.
Not things that they were necessarily the best, fastest, or smartest at, but the things that they really liked to do and would help propel them through life. It was exhausting at times keeping up with their personal journeys of self-discovery often at the expense of my own it seemed at the time. But it was worth it, and the payoff has been great because my adult children do fall back on those childhood pastimes when they can do so for pleasure. Some things have been left behind perhaps to be rediscovered in the future, others have been maintained and incorporated into their busy lives. Enjoyable and easy to do activities that make them feel good because there is a history there.
A late winter morning, nineteen-ninety something and it was still cold outside. The weekend edition of the newspaper was brought in the house. After dusting off the snow we opened it up and to our family’s surprise and delight there was my daughter’s artwork published on the front page next to the headlines. Having entered a weather watcher contest she was an excited and proud 6-year old that day. When I shared that image with her recently, she told me that at the time she thought she was a famous artist!
Fast forward nearly 30 years and that same daughter still finds creating and crafting makes her feel good. Far removed from her personal and professional roles and responsibilities allowing those passions back into her life even just for a little while helps lift her spirits and maintain her stamina for daily life. Haven’t we all been there and done that?
You may not be able to explore your passions fully at every stage of your life, but you should always be watching for the signs and listening to your heart. In time hopefully my children too will recognize what I am discovering now later in life, my own true passions are still waiting for me!
Last year now in retirement I decided to join an Urban Sketchers group of local artists that met once a month on location to draw, share their creations and socialize. I had only been to two of these events and was thoroughly looking forward to this opportunity once again grow and develop my artistic skills which for many years had not moved past the budding stage. Then the pandemic hit and curtailed all social gatherings.
Another disappointing attempt at rekindling an old passion I thought. Until with some consideration the group decided to continue drawing solo and posting online for the group with designated themes or locations each week.
So for nearly the past 52 weeks every Saturday during this pandemic I have been drawing sometimes on location, sometimes in my car, or as winter settled in sometimes within my own home. Each week I have shared my sketches online with strangers that have oddly become my online audience and friends. It has been a rare positive outcome of and a wonderful experience of this Covid year for me. This has become a routine activity that I have chosen to keep doing, look forward to and really care about.
It has required dedication and effort, but I have welcomed sketching every weekend because it lifts my spirits and takes my mind away from the current status quo for many precious moments. Gaining my full concentration, the time lapses and I’m lost in the process. I don’t need to be good at it. I value the feedback that my fellow artist acquaintances give to me, but I don’t need to feel recognized or famous.
When I post my sketches, I don’t do it to get praise. Doing it makes me happy and that is enough for me. I feel challenged, creative and left with a sense of accomplishment and joy.
I know a little secret now that I wish I could have shared with younger me much earlier in life. Somewhere over the retirement rainbow your passions are waiting for you! Hindsight would have told me not to beat myself up or stretch myself so thin at times trying to fulfill my passion projects that were quite unrealistic at that busy time of my life. If I could I would have told younger me to be more patient with yourself because your passions will find you.
Thank you for joining me.
Karen Boschee
Retired Teacher and Parent of 3 adult children
References: https://hbr.org>2019/10>3-reasonsitssohardtofollowyourpassion
Hindsight is Always 20/20! Parenting tips. 