Hindsight REWIND Home Time

Reminisce and Reflect with me.

Suddenly, one of my daughters sternly asked, “Why don’t you just quit your job mom and stay home!”  Strong words from a young child who was obviously craving more family time.  Home together decorating eggs and looking forward to Easter nineteen-ninety something.

Imagine that kids wanting to spend all their time at home with you!  Quality family time is always precious.  But that was an unrealistic dream for two working parents at that time.  So, we hugged our children, counted our blessings, savored the moment and carried on trying to make this home time special.

Who could have imagined there would be a time in our life when we would all be mandated to stay home for the greater good and catch up on all that family time?  Despite the many stresses of navigating the COVID 19 homebound crisis I do hope that many young families appreciate the gift of time together they have been given.  There is power in connections.

As we get older our need for associations continues but the opportunities to form new and lasting relationships become less.  Family ties make life richer and more meaningful.  Communicating, supporting and building strong emotional bonds with children when they are young is especially important.

I missed having some of those kinds of connections with my own parents and sister after too many moves and miles apart over years made the ability to support one another difficult.

The concept of “HOME” will be different for everyone.  Having been a teacher for many years I know that most young children look forward to home time and the comforts and shelter it provides for them.  Obviously, there are no guarantees, circumstances and events can change and influence family life but even then, there is always security found in consistency and love.

Some friendships may come and go over a lifetime but hopefully your family connections will last and become cherished and dependable friendships.  I knew that I did not want to be just a mom or a parent to my children.  I wanted to be their friend. 

I am not minimizing the significance or the responsibility of the parental role but when you are communicating with and interacting now with sons and daughters, consider how much you will all benefit in the future.  Active participation and time put into my family life during childhood and adolescent years has contributed to the quality of our adult relationships.  Valuable patterns of behavior established early in life will be more likely to be prioritized and maintained throughout a lifetime. 

I have discovered that it was the subtle little things I did consistently that may have had the greatest impact and influence.  As individuals your children will take separate paths in adulthood.  Try to have special times with each child in order to appreciate their uniqueness and create personal memories.  Be their biggest fan when the opportunity arises and a faithful companion in the quiet and challenging moments.

It has been a natural progression and expectation, that now although we lead separate daily lives, we should respect and maintain those important relationships and friendships.  Common interests, memories fondly shared, consistent holiday traditions, our love of books, favorite TV shows and chick flicks we watch, and our enduring love of the pets in our lives are some of the things that keep us connected in adult life.  We follow each other’s personal and professional lives and communicate often.  We still enjoy meeting for visits at a popular coffee shop with a familiar green symbol like we have been doing together since they were young girls.  The important thing is that we spent time together and established lines of communication and emotional bonds that continue today.

  As I sit alone at the same dinner table writing this blog where we sat together for many years watching TV and doing homework and being a teacher my own school work late into the evening I have been reflecting.  This is still HOME and it is a special place for me.  A comforting feeling in these uncertain times.  The circumstances are certainly quite different today, but this is not the first holiday my family has not been all together, and I know it will not be the last. 

I’m not as young as I used to be and navigating the isolation of COVID 19’s surreal social distancing lifestyle is challenging.  Countless families are experiencing the same longings to be with loved ones.  We have all had to be creative and work harder to stay in touch with each other.  Trying new ways of communicating, establishing different traditions and making new memories.  My dinner table may have fewer chairs around it, but I am thankful that my life still feels full because I have stayed connected with my children and involved in their lives.  

Taking out my Easter and spring decorations this year was like seeing old friends again and it made me feel good.  I have adopted the yours virtually mentality when communicating.  I opened the memories vault to share old childhood photos with my three daughters and sent them each an Easter Smilebox photo story.

I included the scratches on the front door and the stains on the old rabbit’s ear because well used things are usually a sign of something special.

If home is still a place that nurtures you count your blessings and take the time to share that feeling with your loved ones.  Send reminders often of the good times.  Not just at holiday times.  That is the power of connections!

Thank you for joining me.

Karen Boschee